That’s the story guys! Nothing romantic or magical but very divine and precioHow is marriage viewed today? It’s for those who have been together forever, have financial security and perhaps for those in their late 20s! Some ‘marital experts’ would argue that two years is a good amount of time to be in a committed relationship before tying the knot. We now have marriages between men and men, women and women in selected countries. People can even assign legal conditions e.g. prenuptial agreements. Marriage is a huge step in life so why did I make the decision in so little time?
Why I got married in 2 months
At the beginning of 2016, a guy completely broke my heart. My problem was that I loved too freely without precautions and never highly prioritised the love for myself and what I deserved. I was so sick of making the same mistakes that I vowed to myself that I wouldn’t date anyone. There weren’t any time frames attached – just no dating. What made it ironic was that plenty of opportunities rocked up out of the blue. However, I persevered with my goal.
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I was so focused and I could see the road ahead of me – so I thought. The more I said no, the more I was feeling YES. YES to this new empowered Madison who didn’t let guys trample over her fragile heart. I moved in with a very close friend, cleared all my debts and set a goal to do an English teaching program in China. I was on my way.
I started to feel that I was mentally okay to date again because I knew I was my first priority. I didn’t focus on anything serious because nothing was going to stop me from going to China – how wrong was I? That was when my husband came into the picture. In the beginning, it started with a general Instagram chat. I always knew of him but for some reason we never linked. We even sighted each other at a few hangouts back in Brisbane but we weren’t phased by each other at all.
After chatting with him, my whole world changed instantly. I was instantly head over heels and I couldn’t contain my excitement. It was such a fresh, new feeling – I was hooked on him. Marriage was already a discussed topic. Yep, that’s right. But… somehow it felt like a problem.
At that time, he was in New Zealand and I was still in Brisbane. I was working a temporary job in government doing data entry. The goal was to save up for China. I remember telling everyone that I was confused about China and this new guy. I want to go and explore the world but guys have always held me back all my life. What do I do? I’ll never forget the advice that my ex colleague gave me.
“Don’t you think that if the purpose of life was to live only for ourselves, that the world wouldn’t be full of people. Why do we find such joy in relationships – because they make us happy. Do you want to be happy?”
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This quote might not connect with everyone but it really resonated with me. This really questioned my goals and if they were really in alignment with the desires of my heart. I decided to take the risk to go to New Zealand and let the journey ahead unravel itself. If it worked, it worked. If it didn’t, it didn’t – and that was okay.
And just like that, 3 weeks later I was in New Zealand.
How did we manage to pull it off in 2 months?
We kept it simple. No professional photographers, no huge wedding list, thousands of dollars saved. My family couldn’t even attend because of the time frame that we planned it in. We weren’t focused on the world views of making marriage more than it is. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (which I’m a member of), it states in our family proclamation to the world that, “marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children”.
Don’t get me wrong. I still love big weddings, they are wonderful and gorgeous. I hyperventilate over wedding décor in all aspects. It’s awesome! But… for Enos and I, it was an experience between us and God. We were just happy that we found each other and having the blessing of being married for all time and all eternity.
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To be honest, we were extremely blessed. Members from our church organised a lovely reception within a week prior. We didn’t even ask – they wanted to do it. Our parents and others provided the food and a delicious wedding cake. A lovely lady that I knew in a short period of time made a beautiful lace dress the night before our 6-hour drive to our wedding location – which was in the NZ Hamilton LDS Temple. So many people volunteered and the only thing that was paid for was our rings which my husband saved up for. Everything was perfect and the only thing that I would’ve had different was having my family there but I knew they were with me in spirit.
How did you know he was the right one? You guys only dated for 2 months! That’s crazy.
For me, I didn’t know. I knew he was an amazing, good looking, gorgeous HUNK of a guy who absolutely took my breath away but after so many failed relationships – I held a huge doubt in my confidence. One thing I did know was that his goals, values and morals aligned with mine. That we knew that marriage wasn’t perfection, it was a committed journey to one another towards perfection. That we were willing to work through any issue with the Lord as our mediator and guide. We knew we wanted to be with each other for eternity and that once we were in, that we would press forward together forever.
us to my heart. I hope whatever you decide to do in the future that it brings you happiness but I promise you that you will find joy in people. No matter the kind of relationship.
Wishing you every kind of blessing.
Take care xx
About the Author Maddey Palemene