The Uncommon Way


I want to be honest about how I almost derailed my business…


… because I do see this playing itself out over and over.

I see it with clients and in Facebook groups. People talk about what’s going on in their business, and I think to myself, ‘I KNOW those things can be avoided!’ (you know … I wish I had me telling me this back in the beginning of my business.)

Let’s put this into terms many of you can relate to.

Your business is like a relationship.

If you haven’t been through major issues in your business yet, you may think, “This really doesn’t apply to me” or “It’s not going to happen to me.” But, many of us have been through the standard breakup, so almost everyone can relate to this comparison.

Today, I’m going to touch on two different types of relationships.

Relationship Type #1:

You think everything’s going along just fine… Then, out of the blue, your partner says, “Hey, I think we need to end this… we really need to go our own ways.”

Um, WHAT?! You’re so caught off guard thinking, “What just happened?” I didn’t see that coming!”

That’s what was going on in my business. I was humming along thinking everything was great. I had a few clients and was consistently gaining new clients. I felt like I was on my way then suddenly… the brakes slammed.

I was at a complete standstill. I felt like I wasn’t booking any discovery calls or sales calls. I wasn’t getting the referrals that I used to. I felt like engagement was down. I didn’t know what was going on, and there was a big, panicky part of my brain that thought, “You know, maybe this is it. Maybe, the market’s changed.  Maybe… you just got lucky with those first clients.”

There was a part of me that wondered if I was ever going to scale again, and if I’d stayed in that place far too long, I really think my business could have fully derailed.

But, here’s what happened.

I was working with a business coach, and she was the one who said, “You know what, I think there may be some mindset stuff going on here.”

So, I started working with a mindset coach. That is when I realized I was working so hard (feeling so overwhelmed!), but deep down, I really didn’t want more clients.

I could never admit that to myself. I sure as hell couldn’t admit that to my husband who was supporting me financially! I couldn’t tell him that I was the one getting in the way of my own clients.

But, here’s the thing. When you work with someone on mindset, it’s not like you have this little light bulb realization of, “OH, I’ve been blocking myself from getting clients!” You have  to go deep to understand the beliefs of why you think that way so you can start to unravel it and retrace your steps to get things going again.

For me, there was this belief that I wanted to be striving but never arriving. There was a lot of safety in that for me because them maybe I could just run away, go back to my old life, and be the housewife/mother/wife I used to be… right? As if that would be the good life.

Except deep down, this more evolved part of me knew I didn’t want that. I believed in this meaningful business.

I needed to re-frame how I thought about business and what it would mean for me. The fact that it didn’t have to be so encompassing, so overwhelming.

I’ll tell you the truth… I work hard, still. I’m not one of those people who works 4hrs, and rest of the day, I’m off in a yoga studio. Since I have a baby and choose to send quality time with her, I’m working about 80hrs a week between the baby and my business.

BUT… I’ve removed the drama from it. I don’t feel the same anxiety, pressure, or fear of building up my business.

So, the big tip there is to humble yourself to the power of your own mind.

That’s why this whole entrepreneurial mindset thing is so critical

I have background in performance coaching, so I thought I should be able to coach myself out of this. That made reaching out to a coach SO much harder. But, no matter how great a coach you are, I am convinced, at some point, you need an objective viewpoint from somebody seeing your stories in a way that you aren’t used to seeing them.

Humble yourself, so you don’t get into the situation where you think everything’s going fine because you’ll feel completely unprepared, and like you can’t crawl out of that hole, when the partner of your dreams suddenly leaves you. It’s still going to hurt, but at least you have the tools, and chances are, you’re going to be able to work through it like I did. (Thank goodness!)

Now, let’s dive into the second type of relationship…

Relationship Type #2:

This one is the relationship you know is bad.

You know it’ not right for you, and yet you continue along with it anyway. Until you finally get to the point where you two are such strangers you look at each other and wonder… why are we even together anymore?

That’s what was going on with my business early on. I spent close to two years without any clients. I was blogging my heart out, spending time in Facebook groups adding value and answering people’s questions, trying to show up as “the expert” … and it wasn’t working.

Here’s what I really did wrong.

I didn’t step in for a quick intervention. I let it go on too long.

Your motivation is correlated with your belief in success. The strongest way to up that belief in success is to see PROGRESS. If you’re working for too long without seeing that progress, your motivation’s going to tank. You’re going to feel demoralized (that’s certainly how I felt!)

That’s why so many businesses close up shop. They’re not getting the proper support, so they think, “This is the way it has to be,” and they keep going and going. But, there’s a part of them that’s so demoralized that finally they feel they have to close down.

Or, the way I would have said it, because I’m a huge idea person, “You know what, I thought of a better idea.” I would have then started from scratch on a completely new business.

What I should have done was gotten the support.

I should have asked for help. I wish I could look back and say, “You know what, I didn’t even know there were business coaches. I had no idea this was available to me.” But, the truth is, I did… because I reached out to a couple of them and had sales calls. I was so overwhelmed by their prices and I thought I didn’t deserve it yet. I thought, “When I get further along in my business and I’m actually earning money that’s when I can allow myself to hire a business coach.”

The crazy thing is, looking back over that year or two, I trickled out so much more money than if I had just hired somebody for the few months it took to get me up and running. I regret that.

Luckily, at the very last minute, right about the two-year mark, I did invest in a business coach.

If made a huge difference, quickly. I wish had allowed that intervention sooner. We always kind of know that deep down, but we don’t do what is necessary because we want to be able to say we did it on our own.

So, the two major tips for avoiding these “relationship conundrums” aka business pitfalls:

  1. Humble yourself to the power of your own mind to get in your way.

Allow yourself, even if you’re reaching out to talented coaches, mentors, or someone that you can turn to that will allow you to see your stories from an outside perspective, to really get in there. Get deep and understand why you are holding yourself back, and how you have that power to change.

  1. Intervene QUICKLY, when things just aren’t right.

All right! If you have any questions, message me anytime. I’m always available, and I’d love to talk to you!

Author Shilpa Divekar

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